Two by Two
Love One Another
[This topic was skipped entirely. – Funky]
Through this presentation, we realize we can't limit our love to only each other. We are inspired by Luke's Gospel, Chapter 10: "After this the Lord chose 72 others and sent them out two by two to go before Him". Practical examples demonstrate how we are commanded by Jesus to reach out to others: our family, neighbors, work colleagues, the lonely, the needy, etc. We can share our "Couple love" with our friends and relatives, register and participate in parishes, and volunteer to help in the Church and other charitable organizations.
As couples in love we need to recognize the joy we bring to others when we share our love. We have a responsibility to decide how we will do this – like the disciples who were sent out two by two.
- What qua
lities do we, as a couple, have to share with others?- How can we best share our couple love with our family, friends, Church and community?
- How do I feel knowing God is sending us out two by two in service to others?
- Who has had a positive influence in our life as a couple? In what way? How could we let them know?
After this the LORD appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place he was about to go.
He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest therefore, to send out workers intohis harvest field." Luke 10:1-2
At this point they informed us that each couple had a corresponding prayer couple. A married couple volunteered to pray for each engaged couple. It was cool looking back at the weekend's talks, etc through the lense of knowing that a couple was praying for us the whole time. 🙂
Planning a Life-Giving Marriage
My Paln vs. Our Plan
This presentation helps sort out goals and priorities as individuals. Then we can come together to begin planning our own goals and priorities as a couple. In doing so, we become open to God's plan for us as a couple.
The way we lead ourlives, on a daily basis, is a visible expression of the values that are important to us. We challenge you now to bring this weekend home with you. Through life-giving choices you will begin the ongoing process of formulating couple values and setting the priorities necessary to achieve them.
[The following questions were answered twice – as individuals and as a couple. – Funky]
Check five areas that you see as a value in your future marriage.
- Wife or husband works at home
- Raising a family
- Own your own home
- Living close to family
- Being active in Church
- Limited number of children
- Careers
- Leisure time
- Going to Church
- Finish school
- Status
- Graduate studies
- Money/Posessions
- My independence
- Prayer/Spirituality
- Catholic education
- Other
Rate the following everyday activities in each separate column according to the priority needed to expressed your values (1 = highest).
- Money
- Food
- Savings
- Education
- Charity
- Church
- Home
- Medical
- Entertainment/Recreation
- Personal
- Transportation
- Clothing
- Time
- Work
- Sleep
- My time
- Television
- Hobbies
- Time alone as a couple
- Parents
- Entertainment/Recreation
- Group activities/Sports clubs
- Church
- Household Chores
- People
- Me
- Spouse
- God
- Children
- Relatives
- Friends
- Parents
- Business associates
During your dialogue time consider the followingquestions:
- How do our values/priorities differ?
- In which areas do I need to reassess my values/priorities?
- How open am I to change?
Forgiveness in Marriage
Forgive Us As We Forgive Others
Shows the necessity in asking for forgiveness and forgiving one another in the day-to-day hurts we all inflict on each other. It is more than just "I'm sorry". When we are able to recognize the need for reconsiliation and experience the grace of healing, we are acknowledging our belief in God and love for one another.
We were instructed to ask our fiances for forgiveness by starting with "Please forgive me for hurting you when…" I really like that approach. It's harder to say it flippantly.
On the whole, I really appreciated the realtion-ship building stuff (like the rules for arguing). We also made friends with another counple getting married on October 16. The experience was mostly good and taught us a few things. However, the format got tiresome quickly and I frequently longed for some good catechesis.
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That’s really weak. I wonder if any of the couples there will actually follow the teaching on contraception. With such lame catechesis, I really can’t say that I blame people for not.
Interesting thought you had about teaching a pre-Cana class using Theology of the Body as the primary source. Another good candidate would be the writings of St. John Chrysostom, the Eastern Doctor whose teachings regarding marriage and family are one of the bases of the ideas we have about Christian love. (As a sidebar, Chrysostom is pretty much the #1 doctor in the Orthodox world, but their follow-up on his doctrines regarding contraception has been really, really weak.)
We hated our Engaged Encounter too but we really appreciated the Marriage Encounter retreat we took (ten years later). The rules for arguing was about the best part of the weekend, btw, and got the most use by us.
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My parents began the Engaged Encounter in the 60’s. It was not meant to be a “Catholic” experience but an experience for the engaged couple. If you did not attend the Engaged Encounter in the Detroit area, the you attended an off shoot that someone rewrote. In Detroit, when a priest can be found, he comes only to say mass and bless rings. The priest NEVER presents a topic. None of the material was ever copyright protected as my parents felt it could benefit all.
Did your parents intend for EE to satisfy diocesan pre-cana requirements? If not, then I’d applaud it as a useful crash course in the psychological and relational aspects of marriage. Whoever decided that this material was adequate for Catholic pre-cana was very wrong. Preparation for the sacrament of Holy Matrimony requires more than EE (as I experienced it) offers. If a weekend is to call itself Catholic Engaged Encounter, it had better present material that authentically represents orthodox Catholicism.